


This House Is Empty Without You

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: First Time, M/M, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4756076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen's living in a hotel, Jared's living on his own in a big house. Things aren't right. [repost, first posted 15/10/2009]</p>
            </blockquote>





	This House Is Empty Without You

**Author's Note:**

> remix of [Raspberry Tell Me True](http://delphinapterus.livejournal.com/63881.html) by [delphinapterus](http://delphinapterus.livejournal.com), written for [j2_remix](http://j2_remix.livejournal.com).

Jared always expected to get sick of Jensen one day, maybe while shooting a scene or while beating Jensen at video games and listening to him throw every insult known to men at Jared, because it’s only natural, after spending so much time with each other. Instead, he feels like it's not enough, like Jensen might be there all the time but Jared hardly ever has him to himself.

He wants to take Jensen out on dates, sleep in with him in the morning, bodies curled together. He wants to be able to touch Jensen, explore his body and get to know him in this new, intimate way. 

There are a few stolen moments in their trailers between takes, hands fumbling and lips bruising, but always holding back, listening to the noises outside and trying not to leave any marks. It's not how a relationship is supposed to go. They're supposed to be in love and a little awkward, trying to adjust to suddenly being lovers as well as best friends. It's supposed to be new and exciting, not frustrating.

 

~

 

The first two nights after filming starts up again Jensen stays at Jared's place. They stumble into the house together, feed Harley and Sadie, and then fall straight into bed. There's some languid kissing, Jared's hands running over Jensen's smooth skin and Jensen rutting against him. They don't exchange more than a handful of tired, slurred words before they fall asleep.

When Clif picks them up together for the second time in a row, he raises his eyebrows but doesn't say a word.

 

~

 

_Final Destination_ is playing in the background, the sound low enough that it's just a murmur, mixing with their soft moans and sighs. Jensen flinches a little every time someone screams on TV, jerking against Jared in surprise and bringing their bodies even closer together. 

Jared slides his hand from Jensen's cheek to his neck, angling his face to lick a little deeper. He's half on top of Jensen, and if the day hadn't left him so drained he'd push Jensen onto his back, strip him and cover him completely, pressing every last inch of their skin together.

"Jay," Jensen mumbles into the kiss. His fingers tug at Jared's hair as if to pull him back, but the one hand he has under Jared's shirt keeps stroking his side, holding him in place.

"Hmm," Jared hums and bites at his lower lip playfully, making Jensen gasp in a breath and dig his fingers into Jared's flesh.

He pulls away and Jared chases his lips, trying to steal another kiss. Jensen's hand on his chest halts him. 

"Jensen," Jared complains. "Come on."

"It's getting late." Jensen's voice is a little husky, raw from filming endless hours and it sends spikes of arousal straight to Jared's dick. 

"Let's go to bed then," he suggests and grins, waggling his eyebrows.

Jensen snorts. "What did I ever see in you?" 

"I can make you a list. Would take me hours though, it'll be that long," Jared shoots back, and pushes Jensen onto his back. He smiles down at him, leaning in for a kiss. Jensen sighs softly and wraps his arms around Jared's waist, pulling him down against him. 

"Seriously," he mumbles and then lets out a broken groan when Jared grinds down. "God, Jared. You need to stop or…"

Jared chuckles and slides his lips from Jensen's mouth to his jaw, nibbling at the skin, Jensen's stubble scratching his lips. "Or what?" he asks. 

"'m not gonna be able to stop."

"Yeah." 

Jared presses down onto Jensen, his hard dick pressing against the rough denim of his jeans. Jensen arches up into him and his eyes flutter close. The dim light of the TV is casting shadows on his face, but Jared can still see the long lashes lying against the skin. If the light was on, he thinks, he'd probably see a faint flush staining Jensen's cheeks, spattered with freckles. 

"You're so freaking beautiful," he whispers and covers Jensen's lips with his own again, swallowing his moans. Jensen tangles his fingers in Jared's hair, sliding his tongue into Jared's mouth, hot and wet.

One of Jensen's legs wraps around his hip, heel digging into Jared's thigh and the angle brings their cocks closer together as Jared ruts down.

"Jay." Jensen presses his hand against his shoulder, pushing him off again. He's panting, his chest heaving against Jared's. "C'mon, stop, man. I need to get home."

Jared's hands fumble with the hem of Jensen's shirt, trying to push it up and it takes a while for Jensen's words to actually register. He halts, hand resting on warm skin. "What?"

"My hotel room, the place I live? It's late and we have a way-too-early wake up call tomorrow morning. Jeannie's gonna slaughter me if I come in with bags under my eyes because I didn't get any sleep."

"So, stay here. You did the last nights," Jared reasons. "We'll go to bed in a little bit, promise."

Jensen sighs, running his hand over Jared's back. "I wish I could," he says, soft and sincere, and runs his other hand over his face. "But, man, I can't stay here every night. Clif's bound to suspect something's going on. I have my own place, Jay, I can't stay at yours all the time or people are gonna start talking."

He sounds serious enough for Jared to know Jensen's made up his mind about this. He sits up, letting Jensen roll out from under him and rests his head against the back of the couch. How'd they go from making out to Jensen getting ready to leave this suddenly? 

"This sucks."

Jensen chuckles and leans over him, kissing him shortly. "Another time. You'll survive spending the night alone for once," he teases and then slaps Jared's thigh. "Wanna drive me or should I call a cab?"

Jared almost wants to be childish and tell Jensen to call a cab if he's so adamant about leaving, a even bigger part wants to grab Jensen's wrist and pull him back close, kissing him until he forgets about leaving at all, but he just heaves himself up instead. He knows that if things were different, if there wasn't the weight of being co-stars and their jobs, he'd choose to stay. 

Jared steps into his boots, grabs his key and follows Jensen out the door.

 

~

 

When Jared gets back, the TV is still on and Sadie's whining softly. "I know, girl," he says and pets her flank. "Come on, bed time."

Harley's sprawled out on the bed, asleep, and Sadie quickly jumps up next to him, the two of them taking up half of the bed. Jared wiggles around under the covers until he's comfortable, not finding it in him to push the dogs off the bed and sleep alone. He listens to their soft breathing and the occasional soft creaks inside the house and wishes Jensen was there, a warm and sure weight against him.

 

~

 

Over the next few days, Jensen spends two more nights at the hotel, once going back there straight after work claiming he has lines to learn and has to call his family before his mom comes to Vancouver to kick his ass. 

Jared spends that evening mindlessly wandering around the house, cleaning. Which, really, consists of picking up things and placing them somewhere else where they didn't belong either, but at least they aren’t right in the way anymore. He knows eventually Jensen will get tired of how cluttered the house looks and tidy up anyway.

Harley follows him around happily, wagging his tail every time Jared so much as walks towards the kitchen and looking at him with hopeful eyes. He thinks Harley probably wishes Jensen was there as well, because he's a pushover and never can say no to the dogs' woeful looks.

Eventually, Jared settles on the couch with a book.

The thing is, he thinks, he wouldn't miss Jensen this much if he knew Jensen was happy. If they were just a regular couple. But fact is, with the hours they keep, nights are all they have right now. And it's not fair that Jared has a big, empty house that Jensen loves, and instead he has to live in a hotel room he hates. A hotel room with furniture that isn't his, with so little personal belongings that it doesn't even feel a little bit homey (and okay, that's totally Jensen's fault) and the people staying in the same building changing daily.

"I fucking hate this," Jared mutters to himself, the book in his lap all but forgotten.

When Sadie lets out a short whine, he pets her softly until she settles down again. She shifts, laying her head on his thigh and falls back asleep. 

He leans his head against the back of couch, thinks of Jensen all alone right now and wonders if Jensen wishes he was with him as much as he does. 

 

~

 

One week into shooting, they get the rare afternoon off. They got up at asscrack of dawn, or maybe it was still night, so they're not exactly bouncing with energy. But still, it's nice. And it's just what they need after a day of filming, after almost two days of nothing more than a few stolen kisses and a couple of quick handjobs. 

They take the dogs for a walk to a nearby park, stopping on the way for coffee for both of them and donuts for Jared. 

It's warm but not too crowded, and Harley and Sadie run circles around them happily, chasing after things. Jensen walks close enough for their arms to brush and Jared wishes he could reach out and take Jensen's hand into his, just to touch him and feel him. Instead he slurps his iced cappuccino and grips the small bag with his donut tightly in the other hand as they make idle talk about nothing. 

They find an empty bench and sit down, Jared finally pulling out the donut. He can feel Jensen's eyes on him as he eats it, and he suppresses a smile. If he could, he'd lean over and kiss Jensen, letting him taste the sugary sweetness on his lips until every last bit was licked away, and his stomach does a hot swoop, knowing Jensen's having similar thoughts.

Jensen leans in a little, and for a split second Jared thinks Jensen might actually kiss him, but instead he just reaches out and swipes a finger over Jared's lips before bringing it to his own mouth and sucking off whatever crumbs he brushed away. And okay, that's almost as good as kissing, and just as arousing. 

"I can't find my shirt, you know, the black button down one," Jensen says, and Jared blinks, trying to focus on the conversation instead of what he wants to do to Jensen.

"It's at my place." 

Along half of the rest of Jensen's clothes that have accumulated in Jared's house over the months and the few things Jared secretly swiped, like the old, soft-worn t-shirt Jared sometimes sleeps in when Jensen's not with him.

"Damn it. Remind me to get it, I'm supposed to wear it to that thing on Monday. I can’t keep track of my fucking clothes. Jesus that's pathetic." 

Jared doesn't bother replying, because Jensen doesn't sound particularly upset about his things being at Jared's. 

Sadie trots up to them, pushing at Jared until he reaches out and pats her. And really, he thinks, the only thing that's pathetic is that Jensen's things are at his place, but Jensen isn't. It doesn't make much sense, not when Jared knows it's what they both want. 

"You know, I got room and the dogs love you," he finally says. 

It's not how he thought he'd ever ask Jensen. And he's thought about it more than he cares to admit. He imagined it would happen at his place, something a little more romantic, because moving in together, even for them, is still kind of big deal. He'd thought there'd be a long speech about how much he loves Jensen, how he misses him when they're not together and how he wants to wake up with Jensen in his arms for the rest of his life. 

But then again, this, sitting on a bench with the dogs playing in the sun, seems much more fitting anyway.

 

~

 

A lot of Jensen's stuff ends up in the guest room, packed away in boxes. They really don't need a second set of cutlery, or another TV and Playstation. But Jensen's clothes take up half of the closet now, his books filling up the bookshelf in the living room. There are too many shoes in the hallway, they own quite a few DVDs twice now, and Jared threw away Jensen's spare toothbrush now that his real one is right next to Jared's in their bathroom. 

Jared wraps his arms around Jensen's waist, stooping down to rest his chin on Jensen's shoulder as he watches him stir pasta sauce. He grins and kisses Jensen's neck, feeling more at peace than he has in years.


End file.
